Imagine that someone gives you an unfamiliar machine. What are some of the ways you can learn how to use this machine? To know more about the device, you could study it, read the owner’s manual, experiment with it, consult someone who has used it before, or take courses on how to use it. If the unfamiliar thing were a jungle animal, you might read books written by zoologists who have spent years studying that species of animals. That will give you general but very vital information about that animal. Say you were asked to study one specific lion, let’s call him Judah. While it’s vital to read books about how all lions behave—because those generalities apply to Judah as well—at some point, you have to spend time observing Judah himself in his natural habitat. Why? Because all lions are unique. To know Judah himself, you have to spend time seeing what he likes and how he behaves in ways that are different from other lions in the same forest. You can even study down to the temperament of an animal. We can apply the same approach to studying ourselves, becoming more self-aware, becoming self-experts, and discovering our design. No one on earth should know you better than you. The problem is that we don’t take time to study ourselves beyond knowing what our favorite colors and sports teams are. Below, I share four ways to increase your self-awareness. Because I think each of us is a star, I use the acronym STAR to represent the four powerful ways you can use to become more self-aware. These are, 1) Studying yourself, 2) Trying out different things (trial and error), 3) Asking for input from others, and 4) Reflecting/Meditating.
Self-Study
There are several ways you can study yourself to increase your self-awareness and help find your design.1) Read books about how others have developed self-awareness. Read books on what motivates people and how the human being functions. Even though we are each very unique individuals, we are also amazingly similar. The principles and natural laws that guide self-awareness and self-discovery are universal. We can learn from how others have become more self-aware and discovered their purposes and can apply that knowledge to help us on our journey of self-discovery. This would be akin to reading books written by zoologists if you wanted to study our lion, Judah. This is similar to reading the owner’s manual of a machine. In this day and age, you can listen to podcasts, read blogs, watch youtube videos/vlogs, and listen to audiobooks.2) Take courses on the subject of self-awareness.3) Be mentored, coached, or trained by someone who is experienced in the subject.4) Write and study your History.5) Observe and physically examine yourself. Study your history, observe, and physically examine yourself. Be your own self-scientist. Doctors do this to patients every day. You can do this to yourself. We have been endowed with the imagination and ability to study ourselves and understand who we are. The beautiful thing about being your scientist is that you can hear and examine your thoughts, something that is difficult for someone else to do. You can feel your own emotions and the rumbling of your stomach in ways no one else can.6) Take psychometric / Personality tests. E.g., the DisC profile, Myers-Briggs, etc. Being self-aware is key to discovering our design. Even though we are not a piece of equipment,
Trial and error
You may not know what all your gifts and talents are simply because you have never been given the opportunity to call on these gifts or have never taken advantage of opportunities provided or ones you could co-create. Like a sleeping giant, these gifts lie dormant and undiscovered within you. Your ability to discover your gifts is influenced in part by the opportunities that life and you provide for yourself to discover them. Experiment with different areas of service. Follow your curiosity or desires, and volunteer to serve in different areas. Before you know it, you will connect with something and a fire will be sparked in your life. How would you know whether you’re good at something if you’ve never experienced it? You may have talents you are unaware of because the opportunity isn’t there. If you grew up in a community that didn’t have swimming pools or any other places to swim–like I did–how would you know if you have a gift for swimming? If you have never been on a boat before, how could you know if you have an aptitude for sailing? If you have never been exposed to flight before, how could you even develop an interest in it or see if you would be a gifted pilot or now? If you have never tried to play soccer, how would you know if you have the aptitudes of Pele or not? If you’ve never tried to play the guitar, piano, violin, you would never find out. If you’ve never played with a toolbox, a hammer, attempted weaving, tried to cook, work in a garden, learn a new language, how could you know if you weren’t gifted in these areas? Seek, create, and take advantage of opportunities to try many different things in life. You never know what you will uncover. Obviously, we cannot try everything there is to try. The whole magic about life is that much of what we need to succeed is outside our control. I believe we are born where we are for a purpose and have the circumstances we go through for a purpose. We don’t need to look too far to discover who we are.
Advisors
Ask trusted advisors (trusted friends, mentors, and coaches) for feedback. Ask others who know you what gifts and talents they see in you. Frequently, the people around us may notice an aptitude in us even before we do. These people can help you in identifying your design. They can also provide us with both positive and negative feedback that helps us understand ourselves better. To understand yourself, you need to look at yourself in many different mirrors positioned at different angles to give you a complete 3-D picture. Your trusted friends, mentors, and coaches can be one of these mirrors. The people you work with can also serve this purpose. So, get regular feedback at work.
Reflection/Meditation/Mindfulness
Reflect, meditate, and practice mindfulness. Pay attention to your thoughts. Reflect on our story. Take the time to pray, journal, and reflect on the way you’ve been DESIGNED to serve the world. Practice mindfulness. Look for convergence and interrelation of different parts of your DESIGN. Our design tells us about our intended function. Also, meditate on your life as it is unfolding. Author and CEO Anthony Tjan says during his meditations, he asks himself the following questions: What am I trying to achieve? –Write down your dreams and goals.
What am I doing that is working?
What am I doing that is slowing me down?
What can I do to change? You can ask yourself similar questions that help you understand yourself better. Also, use my WISE PATH approach, in this case, to help you find your DESIGN.
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